"In the garage, I feel safe
No one cares about my ways
In the garage where I belong
No one hears me sing this song"
— Weezer, from In The Garage

Film Review: The One
starring jet li and jet li
directed by james wong
rating: 3.5 stars

do not see this movie for the plot. do not expect to make out during this movie. and for god's sake, leave your tissues at home.

this movie rocked.

the pseudoscience: well, here goes the old sliders schtick again. there is not just one universe, but many. and each of those universes has another version of us. collectively called the multiverse, this set of universes gains another member every time a black hole collapses. the human race has harnessed technology that can let us travel between universes. there's even a governing body regulating interuniversal travel.

the stupid backstory: one member of this body's elite military squad, yulaw (jet li), has discovered that when he kills another version of himself, he gets his life essence, becoming stronger, faster, and smarter. so yada yada, becomes evil, yada yada, rampaging through universes, yada yada, murder all but one other version of himself. so he's really damn strong, really damn fast, really damn smart, and so fucking evil. he theorizes that when he becomes the last yulaw surviving, he'll become a god. but gabriel yulaw, the last one he has to kill, has been getting stronger too, and he won't go down without a fight.

the "action" part of "action flick": now, this is what you want to go see this movie for. this movie took bullet time from the matrix, slapped it around a bit, and called it its own bitch. i don't think i've ever seen more jaw-dropping effects. if they were using frame speed-up, i couldn't tell. it was so seamlessly done. all you sfx guys, bring a bib, cuz you will be drooling all over yourself and your neighbor if you don't. the fight sequences were beautifully choreographed. and the best part? it doesn't even pretend to be anything more than jet li pounding the shit out of stunt doubles while mad crazy sfx stuff is going on around him.

unfortunately, i have to measure any flick of this kind against the matrix. they didn't even try to put a plot in, though they certainly had time to. the premise was a bit cliche, and the ending unnecessarily cheesy: a bad, half-assed attempt to close a dangling theme. and the last scene nearly screamed "sequel". oh well, can't have it all, i guess.

Raging Aardvark: i bow down to your l33t pr0cr4zz+i|\|a7in6 ski||z
F0REVEROSE: oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOo
F0REVEROSE: dont be like dino
F0REVEROSE: oh NOOOOOOOOOOo
F0REVEROSE: i canNOT believe you just used gamer language on me
Raging Aardvark: hehe he writes in l33t?
F0REVEROSE: YES
F0REVEROSE: DinoN50: tell him i approve of his üb3|2 l337 s|<illx0|2z

domo arigato: michael, robert, teresa, rose. i think i'm a lot better now.

"beneath the surface, beneath anything, i see something more. they will see something more. you will conquer the world in your backwards cap and your smile, chasing after music in your mind. and they will sing with you."

thanks, rose.

a big congratulations to yugi! his and sax's comic, fatal exceptions, has debuted! we're all so proud of you, man! *sniff* it feels like it was just yesterday when you learned how to say your first words.... oh wait, that's the evil leftover cheeseburger in the fridge. and your big brother just keeps telling me how proud of you he is! ^_^

but seriously, for everyone who hasn't gone yet, go read it and email yugi and embarass the hell out of him in fanmail. go go go!

lot 47 films has a very interesting argument on the issue of the ratings: create a new rating, "A" for adult themes. i'd have to agree with it; that is a great way to resolve the issue.

Film Review: L.I.E.
starring brian cox and paul dano
directed by michael cuesta
rating: 4.5 stars

i went to see L.I.E. today with mike, rob, and vij. man, that was a powerful film. falls under the category of a good indie film. it was extremely in-your-face, and dealt with so many issues straight on. never so in-your-face to the point of vulgarity, but enough to be quite unsettling to all but the extremely liberal.

here's a quick plot summary: howie blitzer is a fifteen year old boy growing up in new york. his mother has been recently killed in an accident on the lie, the long island expressway. with his father paying more attention to his current affair than he is to his own son, howie is left to hazard the perils of adolescence with virtually no adult guidance. and between his friends running criminal activities and his own feelings toward his best friend, howie is in sore need of said guidance.

enter big john. big john is an ex-marine and a well-respected member of the community, liked by everyone who knows him. but big john has a few secrets of his own, namely that he's a pedophile. after howie and his friend rob his house, big john befriends howie, and....well, if you want to know more, watch the movie already!

it gives a very real assessment of life: there are such things as neglectful parents, inbreeding, and pedophiles out there in the world. but at the same time, the film was done in such a way that none of the characters were judged. even the pedophile. heck, one even starts to wonder: who did more of the seducing, big john or howie? one comes out of the theatre realizing that there are no bad people out there. there are just people. everyone has his problems, his reasons, his funny quirks.

it was unfairly rated NC-17. there have been so many R rated movies that i've seen that have more nudity and sex than that movie. in fact, the only sex scene is a two-second clip of howie's father and his girlfriend. the only reason that it was rated such is because the themes the film dealt with are not orthodox. but that is the exact reason that it shouldn't be rated so harshly. we kids don't get any exposure to sensitive yet real issues like this. but there there are pedophiles out there. hell, i would recommend this film as one parents should send their kids off to see. if it comes out on video, i will rent or buy it and defy the rating as often as i can.

i wanna go home.....

i'm so afraid of going home.....