the world awaits me, but i am still tipping and typing away at my keyboard. went to sleep around 545 last night, but i'm still up at this hour. fran and arturo are here. we had a gigantic feast last night.

rose is leaving. i guess ann is too, but i didn't see it on her site. =(

i went through the stuff i got from my grandma, and i found a bathrobe. i got a bathrobe! woot! i wrote some of the next installment of a safer haven last night in my bathrobe.

time to face the world.

Raging Aardvark: what about you?
Raging Aardvark: drink? smoke?
TimboSpoo: nope
TimboSpoo: clean as
TimboSpoo: um
TimboSpoo: something thats really clean

"sometimes i just need to hear the words...."
— Asylum

well, my cousin tony has arrived with his parents. had dinner with them at grandma's place. mmm, she can cook soooo well. i must have pulled something in my thumb while playing guitar, cuz for the last few days it's been aching whenever i put pressure on it in a certain way. today, while cleaning the house, i fashioned myself a crude splint with a pencil and some masking tape. but it somehow must have only served to aggrevate it.

i have a red mark on my arm. something must have slashed across it. funny how memory is selective....

robert called me from 610 tonight. he didn't know what section of 610, nor what direction he was heading. i gave him a brief algorithm on how to get back on 59, but he called me back twenty minutes later, telling me that he was back in a spot he'd been in before. how do you get that lost?

thanks, becky. hang in there.

i smell like tobacco, weed, and beer. that's one of the things about long hair. it soaks up odors like a hoover. i took off my socks and coat, and stripped my shirt in favor of a clean one, but my hair still smells heavily of weed. my mom took a few steps back as i was talking to her in the kitchen. that's how bad it is.

jen, as her commercialism day present to us, took john, vijay, steven, and myself to see better than ezra at the engine room. vip booth, for only $10. the opening band, i've gone blind, was very heavy and not that good. but ezra! oh, ezra! they were fucking awesome! i'm hoarse right now from screaming. my left ear is deaf, where jen screamed into it for two hours straight.

there was one song when they wanted someone from the audience to play the lead part. it was called this time of year, i think. the first guy who got up there thought the song was desperately wanting, and was summarily removed. the second guy couldn't keep a tempo. the third guy was the guy who jen jams with. he got up there and played beautifully. they even had him climb up on the riser for the drums, and then jump off and hit a chord right when he landed. it was so cool. jen was screaming the entire time.

there was a clan of girls in the booth in front of us, who decided to sit on top of the backs of the seats, which blocked our view. i complained a bit to them, and they more or less blew me off. so jen started smoking a very foul cigar at them to try to get them to move. her plan backfired: one of them asked for a cigar. actually, they were nice enough, except for the whole getting in our line of site thing.

i feel so loved. both ann and rose left me messages in my guestbook, as well as in their blogs. thank the both of you.

so i'm home. all the emotional baggage i managed not to pack somehow got shipped down here anyway, just like i knew it would. there's just something about sitting in a kroger's parking lot, utterly alone, listening to music that you can't stand to hear, but are too fuck-all exhausted to turn off.

so i'm blogging at 545 in the morning. what am i doing awake now? i wanted to finish cleaning up my room and bathroom by the time i headed to bed last night, but i never got to it. my body gave out at around nine, and refused to move anywhere except over to my bed. i woke up around four thirty this morning and couldn't go back to sleep.

so i've got a lot of shopping to do, but i don't have time to do it just yet. instead, i'll sit here and read blogs, and maybe work on modding a javascript archive template that blogger recommended. poking about, i was fascinated by what kat's friends had to say.

so rose poses the question: what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? i would graduate with honors from med school. i would start a band, and do small gigs around houston and austin. i would write poetry, give speeches, and sing. i would have my parents be proud me. i would know that when i shout to the world, "this is i!" the world grin back at me. i would live my life without fear or regret.

so i feel like going to ride my bike around sugar lakes, like i used to do in middle school. or maybe i'll just sit about, trying to carry on a decent converstion with a bot. i feel like i'm trying to talk to an npc in a console rpg. *sigh* times are tough....

here's an annoying thing about not being on resnet: you can't access the mail.utexas.edu smtp server. sure, you can download all th mail you want, but you can't send any. so: for you people who for some reason or another torture yourselves by reading my blog, be warned that speakerzero@hotmail.com is me. please continue sending mail to pyang@mail.utexas.edu, as i will continue to have that operational.

WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! i am done with my finals!! i am dancing in my room to fun factory - celebration! i say unto you once again, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

joe: uh-oh.....
me: *takes of headphones, turns around* what?
joe: well....i got an email from my mom asking when i'm getting home tomorrow, and she said something about a package coming in for me from japan. i wonder what i bought off of ebay this time....

wow. that was an angry post. i guess i've been somewhat bipolar and/or psychotic in my postings lately. i wonder if joe reads my website? i don't think i've ever seen it open on his computer, and if he has, he's never commented on it before. there are probably some of my friends out there who actually read receptacle and are wondering what's causing me to post such crazy posts. i would kinda feel bad if they were just left wondering. so i guess i should probably post up here what has been happening in my life.

yup, sure should.

there was a time when i cared, when i thought this goddamn place would mean something to me. you were the one who kept me down. you were the one who fucked me up in the head. no more! when it's all over, you're gonna be the one who's bleeding up against the wall, whimpering for your mommy as i feed you your own balls! i'm gonna make you find out what the phrase "go fuck yourself" really means. why should i give a damn about you or your goddamn weaknesses, except to exploit each and every one, until even mickey fucking mouse makes your shit your pants? so leave me the fuck alone, unless you want to know if there are fates worse than death.